YouTuber Rebecca Zamolo Reveals the Magic and Fears She Faces Parenting After Pregnancy Loss - E! Online (2024)


Inside YouTuber Rebecca Zamolo's Journey to Motherhood

Rebecca Zamolo can still remember the moment she realized she might just get everything she's ever wanted.

It had taken three rounds of IVF—her first resulting in a2020 chemical pregnancy, the second, a heart-wrenching miscarriage at nine weeks—but she was finally far enough along in this pregnancy to find out the sex of her baby.

Though the YouTube personality and husband Matt Slays—they are the duo behind the Game Master and other popular series created fortheir 12 million subscribers—had implanted both a male and her final female embryo last summer, Zamolo was fully prepared to see blueconfetti fall from that balloon.

"The boy egg was stronger—and the girl was kind of just our last egg," she explained in a recent interview with E! News. "I was very much at peace with whatever happens, like, I'm still going to be excited for a boy. I just knew what I would have to do to get a girl now would be very different. And so I started looking into adoption and different things."

photosCelebs Who Welcomed Rainbow Babies After Pregnancy Loss

Then as they gathered in front of friends and family last fall, they saw that flash of pink.

"She beat out all the odds," raved Zamolo. "She had the least chance of being successful out of anything and she was the one that came through. So we were just so shocked."


Not that the process was all pink smoke bombs and celebrations.

Enjoying a getaway to Big Bear, Calif., in December, Zamolo began experiencing contractions just27 weeks into her pregnancy. Due toa years-long battle with ulcerative colitis, the 39-year-old had her colon and large intestine removed in 2014, "so hydration has always been a hard thing for me," she explained. "I didn't stay up enough on my fluids and I started having contractions. And so we thought she might come."

Trending Stories


Riley Strain’s Mom Shares Final Messages Sent Before Disappearance


Jenna Dewan Seeks Millions From Channing Tatum Amid Divorce Filings


Taylor Swift's Tortured Poets L.A. Event Has a Nod to Joe Alwyn

The scare—and the subsequent three bags of IV fluid she received—was one of just many "bumps along the way"that Zamolo experienced. "Cautiously happy" when they first discovered she was expecting last summer, she struggled to let go of the anxieties that something would go wrong.

"Once you go through a miscarriage, you just know how fragile this human is in you," Zamolo said."UntilI held her, I was like, 'I just don't know if this is going to happen.' And even now I'm like, 'Oh my gosh, I still can't believe it.'"

It's a phrase she's repeated a time or two since little Zadie Hope Zamolo arrivedFeb. 23.

Used to life throwing up roadblocks, the content creator just assumed she wouldn't be able to breastfeed, she and Slays, 41, stocking their California home with all manners of formula.And yet not long after her C-section birth, "Zadie just latched on to me and I didn't even know what she was doing," Zamolo recalled. "I was like, 'What's going on?' And they were like, 'No, no, that's what babies do.' And so I was like, 'I guess I'm breastfeeding now.' She decided that."


Never mind thatZamolo has had to continue getting IVs once a week, a practice that had her taking in a liter of extra fluids every other day in the final weeks of pregnancy. Having to pump on a flight to Hawaii or dealing with the effects of a ruined spray tan ("I didn't pump before andit just started coming out," she recalled. "I was like, 'This is my life!'") are no sweat either.

"When you've been on a journey—this was a two-plus year journey—there's not a lot of light at the end of the tunnel, you just have hope," she explained of enjoying her rainbow baby. "So when that actually happens it's like, you can't complain about anything. You literally got what you wanted. If she cries, if you have little sleep, you can't be mad about it. You wanted this, you got it and I'm so happy, obviously."


Not eventhe most truncated of maternity leaves could dim her glow.

"We run a company and, unfortunately, if I'm not there, that company can't run and there's a lot of people that count on us," she said of taking just a week-and-a-half off to recuperate. Because just six days after Zadie's arrival,she and Slays released their second book, The Game Master: Mansion Mystery.

"I'm so proud of the book," she gushed. "But it's inauthentic to me to have a child and then be like, 'Here's my new book!' It just felt wrong. So we're late to the promotion." Not that it's dimmed fans' excitement, the New York Times bestselling authors drawing a sold-out crowd for a recent Barnes & Noble appearance that saw Zadie make a cameo.

Still,like so many other working parents,Zamolo has had to find a balance between her jam-packed career and spending time with Zadie. "I wake up a little earlier so that I can be there," she explained. "And I set aside times of the day that are just our time with her. I don't go on my phone, I don't check emails. I block off those times and just wing it the rest of the time."

Which is, truthfully, what most parents are doing, though Zamolo admits to struggling a bit as she navigates breastfeeding and the myriad other skills required to take care of a newborn.

Courtesy of Rebecca Zamolo

"There'sall these things that women are supposed to do and it's supposed to be easy and it's not," she said. "And you feel like a failure or you feel like you're not worthy. I always am questioning, 'Am I good enough mom?'"

The self doubts are difficult, but just like she didwith her pregnancy loss, she intends to document it all.

"I don't want to paint a picture that isn't real," she said of sharing just how scaryher pregnancy journey was, each strange twinge having her fearing the worst. "Because it has been so hard. I mean, I cry still talking about it. And a lot of women have gone through this and it's very hard to talk about. So I don't know any other way to be but honest, because I would never want someone to think it was super easy and then when they struggle, feel like they're all alone."


But she's also living for each tiny smile and milestone, like the fact that Zadie has started tracking her from across the room when she hears her voice.

"I was just not expecting loving someone so much," she gushed. "I'll go to a store and forget to get myself something, but buy her every outfit that I think is cute that will last her, like, a week because she's growing so much."

Zamolo isalready eagerly anticipating that first laugh, the first time she crawls, the first "mama," she said, "Just watching her grow. It's really cool to live life again. And do things for the first time." (High up on the list: TakingZadie to ocean during their Hawaiian getaway and singing allllll the Disney songs "because it's justified because I have a baby.")

But the best part of parenting, "is just having her," raved Zamolo. "It's like, we worked so hard and she's so worth it."

YouTuber Rebecca Zamolo Reveals the Magic and Fears She Faces Parenting After Pregnancy Loss - E! Online (2024)


How to honor a terminated pregnancy? ›

Some remembrance ideas include:
  1. Hold on to keepsakes for as long as you need to. ...
  2. Journal about your experience. ...
  3. Memorialize the pregnancy by planting a tree, painting a garden stone or having a piece of jewelry made.
  4. Create an annual remembrance ceremony for your baby.
Apr 11, 2022

How do you say goodbye to a miscarried baby? ›

  1. Ways to remember your baby. Many families find it helpful to write about their experiences. ...
  2. Holding a ceremony or memorial service. You may choose to have a funeral, ceremony or memorial service for your baby. ...
  3. Saying Goodbye Services. ...
  4. Creating an In Memory fundraising page.

What is the loss of a unborn baby? ›

Pregnancy loss is defined differently around the world, but in general a baby who dies before 28 weeks of pregnancy is referred to as a miscarriage, and babies who die at or after 28 weeks are stillbirths. Every year, nearly 2 million babies are stillborn, and many of these deaths are preventable.

What is a rainbow baby? ›

A rainbow baby is a term for a baby that's born after the parents have a pregnancy loss. The name draws on the symbol of the rainbow, representing beauty after a dark time. Nearly one in four pregnancies end in loss. That could be a miscarriage, stillbirth, or ectopic or molar pregnancy.

Did Rebecca lose her baby? ›

Former Olympic swimmer Rebecca Adlington has revealed she lost her baby daughter at 20 weeks pregnant, a year after suffering another miscarriage. Rebecca Adlington says she is "truly heartbroken" after losing her baby daughter at 20 weeks pregnant.

Should you name a miscarried baby? ›

Consider using a name that you love but which you would not use for a future baby, such as one that honors an older relative, or a relative who has passed away. Having a positive association like that with a name you bestow on your miscarriage or stillbirth may prove helpful for you emotionally in the long run.

What to say when a baby dies? ›

You may have never gone through something so sad or painful in your own life. You may not be sure how the parents feel or what may help them. When you're talking to parents: Be simple: “I'm sorry for your loss.”

What to do with my miscarried baby? ›

Many funeral homes offer free burial urns or caskets for miscarried babies. As part of this process, you may also need to contact whatever local group is in charge of a cemetary in your area. You may need to purchase a burial plot if the cemetary does not have a special plot or mausoleum for miscarried babies.

What tattoo represents miscarriage? ›

Some parents choose “explicit” tattoos, like footprints with wings and the child's name or date of loss. Others choose more subtle references, like the flower baby's breath, the miscarriage and pregnancy loss awareness ribbon, a tiny heart, or a miscarriage quote tattoo.

What do hospitals do with miscarried babies? ›

After the pathology exam, the hospital will care for your fetal remains. remains sent to a mortuary of your choice for cremation or burial at your expense. We can provide a list of mortuaries for your information, but you will need to contact the mortuary and make arrangements directly with them.

What is an angel baby miscarriage? ›

There is nothing like the anticipation of welcoming a newborn into your family. Sadly, sometimes this excitement is cut short by a sudden loss of life. "Angel Baby," "Sunshine Baby," and "Rainbow Baby" are terms that refer to babies born just before or after another baby is lost due to a variety of reasons.

What color is the blood from a miscarriage? ›

This can vary from light spotting or brownish discharge to heavy bleeding and bright red blood or clots. The bleeding may come and go over several days.

What does a miscarriage look like? ›

A miscarriage can also have heavy and light days, but bleeding may be especially heavy at times and last longer than you're used to. Bleeding from a miscarriage may also contain large clots and tissue you don't normally see during your period.

Can a toddler sense a miscarriage? ›

If your baby died very early on in your pregnancy, other children may not be aware that a baby was on the way. However, they will be aware that something is not right and that you are behaving differently.

Did Rebecca Zamolo have IVF? ›

She later released a 40-minute feature documentary on Vimeo about her experiences with the disease called Inside/Out: My Battle with IBD. She married Matthew Yoakum on 17 May 2014. In February 2021, the couple announced that Zamolo had suffered a chemical pregnancy and later a miscarriage after beginning IVF treatment.

Who is the father of Rebecca's baby on Ted Lasso? ›

After weeks of a torrid romance, Rebecca finds out she's pregnant with Sam's baby. He's ecstatic, she's terrified, and they have to come clean to everyone at the club.

Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Msgr. Benton Quitzon

Last Updated:

Views: 5863

Rating: 4.2 / 5 (63 voted)

Reviews: 94% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Msgr. Benton Quitzon

Birthday: 2001-08-13

Address: 96487 Kris Cliff, Teresiafurt, WI 95201

Phone: +9418513585781

Job: Senior Designer

Hobby: Calligraphy, Rowing, Vacation, Geocaching, Web surfing, Electronics, Electronics

Introduction: My name is Msgr. Benton Quitzon, I am a comfortable, charming, thankful, happy, adventurous, handsome, precious person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.